Death of a Mattress (re-envisioned)

The silliest thing an obese, sexually active man can put money into, is IKEA furniture. The mattress had been with me long enough to see some of my most prideful conquests. The stains were proof of that. The lumps too. Each partner’s favorite stroke was practically etched into the face of the mattress. That spot … Continue reading Death of a Mattress (re-envisioned)



“It’s a good thing we get along so great in bed,” I said, “Because I don’t think we could ever actually share a meal together.” She agreed. While my cooking skills had warmed the hearts of many, she would not thaw for anything other than deli turkey, like a child. Like her child. Turkey was … Continue reading Jackamo


I planned my weeks out on Saturday. Which is actually Tuesday because that’s my day off. Wednesday is Monday and Monday is Friday and Friday is like Wednesday and a half. Jennifer and Alice on Wednesday. Debra on Thursday. Angela and Annie on Friday. Jennifer again on Saturday. Someone new on Sunday. Danielle on Monday. … Continue reading Love